One of the worst things that happen to me, during my military deployment, was the expectation. You get your orders to go, you know that someone is out there,waiting to kill you and you have to go. The actual shoot out when it happens is a breeze cause you are engaged, adrenaline is pumping and you are nothing more than a well trained animal. Fear and stress come afterwards.
Problem with me is that after the war ended, I am living in that expectation my entire post war life. The expectation that I will be bitten, that I will not be able to sleep, that someone from my family might get bitten. But also cats that I love so much are in constant fear for their lives and I live in a constant expectation that that moment will come where all I could do is to helplessly watch how it gets torn to bits, cause the humane dog (animal) protection law prohibits me to intervene in any case. It is not that I can't do it but the legal consequences are far to grave. Just yesterday a cat was mauled close to my window,AGAIN, by the same dog that has been terrorising the cats for the past seven years. It already racked up 10 of them. The dogcraver doesn't give a shit, as usual, he doesn't have that kind of problem and he is doing this every night for the past seven years at 8pm and 11pm.
Until one day, I've lost my nerve and showed up on my window, by the same time as his dog was chasing the cat which managed to climb up the tree and the dog was barking like 10 feet from my window. I showed up with an axe and said :”With this I like to neuter naughty puppies”. From that moment the dogcraver became aware that his dog might get killed and he started to pay attention. However, he described me as the total nutjob and the insane person. Other dogcravers also made comments about my state of mind. One of those comments is the standard victim-criminal switch, where I am the villain and he is the good guy. But other comment is even more interesting, though.
They all are bothered about the fact that I am protesting for something that is not happening within my apartment aka my own property. The fact that the sound that their dogs are making is violating my property is irrelevant. The fact that they are breaking the animal protection act in front of me is irrelevant. The fact that they are doing this for the past 7 years is irrelevant. I do agree,however, that a man standing with an axe at the window is scary. But not for a second did they ever thought that they are the cause for that. That they are the reason for me holding the axe.
Back to the expectation. The very thought that the dog that can kill you,harm you in the public space, ,for nothing, creates the same expectation that I described at the beginning. And that expectation is what shatters lives. Cause it is unbearable setting to live in. It is unbearable to expect to be be bitten and eaten by the beast in the urban setting. It is bearable to know, that there is a criminal, that there is a mugger, that there is a sex offender but now on top of all that you have jaws.
What is the point of the law, of the law enforcement, what is the point of the government when they all are failing on the basic presumption that human habitat should be safe from carnivore animals.
I mean, why the fuck did we ever left the caves?